Forged In The Flames

The events of today are still playing over in my mind, I am in awe of how awesome God is. So, today met with the breast surgeon and oncologist along with getting my normal labs done and chemotherapy. Oh, and I get a tumor marker drawn. I woke up super early this morning and.I felt such a peace and joy. This day is the day I get positive answers. I was actually excited to go to my appointments. On the way to the appointment my husband and I prayed that my labs would be great (specifically, my ANC, WBC, HGB, and ALT). I also prayed that the doctor would not be able to feel any tumor or lymph nodes on exam and that my tumor marker would be below the normal upper limit of 25. I also prayed that the appointment with the surgeon would be a positive one. Of course, negative thoughts tried to dance their way in, but NOPE. NOT TODAY! I was at peace and I gave everything to God.

The appointment with the breast surgeon went amazingly well. The surgeon went over a bunch of things with me, and it boiled down to this: we are going to do more scans after chemo is done in two weeks, but it looks like I will probably be having surgery! Still not sure on exact dates as I also now need to meet with their plastic surgeon. I few weeks ago I was so worried about this. I was worried about the surgeon saying no. There are still a few hoops to jump through, but man! This was exciting. I may not be excited about the recoup time- I am not one to take it easy and I am going to have to behave myself. had labs drawn after this appointment. We prayed over my labs, believing God for good results. The surgeon had said that even though I was diagnosed with stage 4 oligometastisis , they are treating me with “curative” intent. I am so happy to hear these words. I know there is a long road ahead, but I am having faith in God. When it came to meeting the oncologist, I was at peace- still. My labs continue to look good! My hgb, ANC, and WBC are all normal! My ALT is only over normal by one point- and this is due to chemo and is “normal”. NOW….the tumor marker. There are alot of side notes that come with this, and I think I may have discussed them in previous posts. It is not necessarily something that says “yes there is a tumor” or “no there isn’t a tumor”, it is a tool that is used. There have been cases where people with advanced metastatic disease have a “normal” tumor marker. That being said, I refuse to even think like this. My tumor marker has continually gone down over the past few weeks. Last week it was 27, just outside the normal upper limit of 25. But today, it was 21 !!!!! Praise God!!!!!! Of course I asked if there was a chance the cancer was gone, and yes, there is a chance with this number that my tumor is gone; upcoming scans will be the true test. I choose to be positive and to believe. In talking with my oncologist, the team is very happy with my response to chemotherapy. On exam, she was not able to feel anything!! WOOWW. The conversation continued to the next steps of surgery and then radiation after this. Interestingly, there are some documented cases of hormone positive cancers (like what I was diagnosed with) that did not respond well to chemo. I have had an “excellent” response according to the oncologist- and I am taking that as a huge answer to prayer. I will no longer say “I have” anything, because I am choosing to have faith that it is gone. But, I am also fully aware of the road that I am on, and I am in no way denying the reality of this journey.

Last night I was reading a book, it is called “Anxious for nothing” by Max Lucado. This book is amazing and talks about giving situations to God and giving Him our worries in all situations. Interestingly, these three quotes from his book spoke to me:

“Death, failure, betrayal, sickness, disappointment – they cannot take over our Jesus” (Max Lucado).

“What you have in Christ is greater than anything you don’t have in life” (Max Lucado) .

“Since no one can take our Christ, no one can take our joy” (Max Lucado).

I found these quotes to be very encouraging when facing a mountain of a day today. Today I was shown how faithful and amazing God is. He answered all of my prayers! All 4 of them, I mean, WOW,. I am blown away.

John 15:7 states “If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you”.

Mark 11:24, “Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours”.

I chose to believe and have faith in what I prayed for, granted there were some moments I struggled. But, I had faith. I still choose to have faith that the cancer is gone and they are going to find NOTHING on the scans. No matter what, I know God has a plan and I will follow that plan. I put my trust in Him. I trust that His plan for my life is best.

So, after today, my mind is spinning. I praise God and give Him 100% of the glory in all of this. The fact that I have been feeling great, have had such a good outcome thus far, and have had great labs are all a testament to the ultimate healing hand of the greatest healer in the Universe. I believe He is the healer and has placed doctors and treatments in my life – but He is is in control. Let this show that God answers prayers.