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A Miracle
Almost one year ago I was diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer. I didn’t understand why this happened and even went as far as to question God at one point. This year has been the most challenging year of my life to say the very least. Chemo, radiation, surgery….but through it all, God has given…
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What IF, we didn’t “what if” the what ifs?
What if, we didn’t “what if” the what ifs in life? What do you think would happen? A lot of our worries and anxieties may be (or are) centered around real problems, but there is a spin off at some point…the WHAT IFS. We go through life and along the way, problems and challenges arise.…
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The Start of the next phase
This week, the day after Christmas, I started radiation. As someone so wisely put it, this is to just make sure nothing is left (micro cells) after chemo and surgery. I will have a total of 25 treatments for the sternal, breast, and lymph areas plus an additional 5 treatments for the sternum. This brings us…
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Update
Wow, a lot has happened in the past few weeks, and my brain has been struggling to play catch up. I guess the last time I posted was after I had my scans – which has been almost two months….YIKES. SOO, lets see….In that time frame I have had surgery, recovery, and have been preparing…
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“By His stripes, I am healed”
Scans October 10th. That is all I could think about. What if they see something else? What if nothing has changed? These were the thoughts that circulated through my brain in the week leading up to the big day. BUT..what if there was NOTHING? The battle for peace was on, and some days it was…
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End of an Era…The Start of Another
Wow, what a week it has been! First, I am proud to say that yesterday I completed 5 months of chemo and RANG THAT BELL! It felt so so good to be able to do that. I had the most amazing nurses during this journey, and I am so thankful for each and every one…
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What Is Courage?
What is courage? What is the definition? What does it mean to you? Once you can answer these questions, what does it mean to HAVE courage? These are some of the things that I have been pondering over the past several days after I had a conversation with my brother. He was talking about what…
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Do Not Worry
Wow, the middle of September! Where has time gone?! I have three chemo treatments left (including tomorrow!). So excited. A bit nervous about the next step perhaps. My hair is starting to grow back a bit- kinda looks like baby fuzz- definitely nowhere near a buzz cut yet (and boy do I have plans for…
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Vegan?!!
I have always tried to eat health- I have gone through many phases in my life where I have tried many different things. I used to be 100 pounds soaking wet when I was a teenager. Then…I hit my mid 20s and that started to change. Since then, I have had a hard time maintaining…
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I choose Not To
Hello All, Life is always changing. We get involved in many different things, and as time progresses, perhaps our interests change or we decide certain things are or aren’t for us. Its a normal progression through life. We make choices, we choose what we are going to do and what we aren’t going to do.…
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Joy Comes In the Morning
This week has been filled with ups and downs. Sometimes, I have rough days where I feel a little down about everything going on, wondering if things are going to get better. I start to think about the “what ifs” and let them have a little party. My husband has reminded me that I need…
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Not By My Strength
As I was sitting having quiet time tonight, I found my thoughts occasionally drifting to the “what ifs” and “what if chemo doesn’t work”. I know I repeatedly mention this, but it is a large part of the mental battle when dealing with chemo and cancer. Like any war or fight, there are times when…
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One Step At a Time
Going through chemo is a journey. A journey that can be overwhelming both physically, mentally, and emotionally. I am going through weekly chemo now and I am in a good routine, however, I can’t help but think of “what is next”?. Every Thursday it is the same- I go to the cancer center, get labs,…
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Going Through the Motions
It has been awhile since I have written, and to those that read this, I am sorry. Life has gotten busy lately, and some days I feel like I have been going through the motions. One day turns into the next and before I know it, almost a month has passed. Over the past few…
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Keeping On
Over the course of the first few weeks between treatments, I had many ups and a few downs. It was an adjustment learning how my body was responding to each treatment and what to expect between treatments. I continued to be positive, but to be honest, there were (and still are) moments that I feel…
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Back to being “Bill”
After my first two chemo treatments, I noticed my hair started coming out. While I knew there was a strong possibility that this could occur, it hit home when it actually started to happen. Anytime I ran my hand or brush through my hair, it came out in clumps. Ughh. I looked like a shedding…
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Positive Improvement
During the first two weeks after my first treatment, I had ups and downs. I was struggling with how it physically made me feel at times; being a little bit more fatigued than normal. Honestly, I wasn’t sure what to expect. I am a very active person and in Arizona during the summer months, that…
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FIGHT ON
May 23, 2023. Day one of chemotherapy. FIGHT DAY. I have given this fight to God, and as I wrote in a previous blog, it took me a while to truly surrender it 100% to God, and it is a daily process to give it to Him each and every day. BUT, each day I…
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Wait…what??
After meeting with the oncologist and having a plan, it was time to get a port placed so that I could receive chemotherapy. This was a bit nerve wracking for me, and it was making things all the more real. But…I was positive as this was a step closer to kicking butt. The day I…
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Something Good is Coming
The days leading up to meeting with my oncologist were quite stressful. I had to go in for CT scans and bone scan- talked about being radioactive! I was supposed to leave to go to my sister’s wedding back East on a Tuesday and had to delay in order to meet with my oncologist. This…
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Time Out
Today I called a time out. I am calling a time out from talking about all the medical appointments. I had a wonderful and positive weekend filled spending time with family and friends. I felt such a peace and joy this weekend that I cannot describe. Today, I woke up early after not sleeping super…
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Be My Hope
Day 20 after receiving word of my potential diagnosis, was going in for an MRI of my breasts and lymph nodes along with a breast surgery consult. I still had not received word if my biopsy result was positive or negative- I assumed I would receive the results this day meeting with the doc. I…
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In My Sons’ Eyes
As parents, how do our children see us? They are always watching what we do, what we say, how we act, how we respond, and how we handle difficult situations. Do we alter our words and actions when we know they are watching or think they aren’t around to see us? Kids can be very…
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It Is Well With My soul
After receiving word from the radiologist that I probably had cancer, I decided not to wait around for the healthcare system to make my plans. So, I took action. I called City of Hope (formally Cancer Treatment Center of America), and I was able to get things rolling with them. I felt a peace about…
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Doubt Creek
I had a rather long drive to and from work – 3.5 hours each way to be exact. While it is a beautiful and normally awesome drive (and worth it for 48 hour shifts), it was also a long time to be alone with thoughts. One particular day, very soon after my mammogram/ultrasound, I was…
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The Weekend Struggle
The weekend I found out that I probably have cancer was a struggle to say the least. I was angry. I was scared. I was full of fear and doubt. I may have sat on my back porch in the dark crying. We are human. We fall short. It happens. I kept asking God “why”?…
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How did I get here?
Perhaps you are going through a similar situation I am facing, or, maybe you have entirely different circumstances. I hope and pray that perhaps my journey can help you on yours. To make a long story short, I noticed a lump in my right breast over the winter. I thought, its fine, there is nothing…
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Physical Battle The Daily Journey The Mental Battle The Spiritual Journey
Forged In The Flames 