Forged In The Flames

During the first two weeks after my first treatment, I had ups and downs. I was struggling with how it physically made me feel at times; being a little bit more fatigued than normal. Honestly, I wasn’t sure what to expect. I am a very active person and in Arizona during the summer months, that can be challenging when it is so hot. Being on chemo just made that worse. Part of me felt trapped,. I felt trapped because there was so much I wanted to do- get out, move around, go to work, but couldn’t. I needed to avoid the sun and heat because let me tell you…those two combinations would make me miserable. So, I made the best of it. I read tons of books, studied, worked on school work, ooohh and watched TV. While these first two weeks were a challenge, they also helped me grow.

These two weeks helped me to take things one day and one step at a time. I have always been a person that was 5 steps ahead and planning my next move. Now, I just needed to take things slow and be appreciative for what was in front of me. I learned (and I am still learning) to appreciate the day that I am given and it is okay to slow down and smell the roses. I have been fortunate to work for an amazing company that has helped me through this difficult process.

Even during these slow two weeks, and sometimes feeling forced to slow down, I have been positive. Many days I felt very positive and motivated. I had a peace, joy, and hope that came from God. I would pray that the chemo would only affect the bad cells and not the good cells in my body. Anytime I would think about chemo, I would tell the chemo “you can only touch the bad cells in my body”. I have been so blessed to have an amazing support system in my life to include my work family, friends, and family.

Prior to starting chemo, I had started cleaning up my diet. I had been doing intermittent fasting, juicing fresh fruits and veggies, and doing an almost vegan diet. I have two amazing friends that supported me during this journey and we would spend time as couples experimenting with healthy recipes. I felt amazing doing this diet and was a little upset when I was advised to limit the fresh veggies and fruits during weeks my blood counts could be low. I am not gonna lie, sometimes Mr. Ben and Mr. Jerry paid me a visit in my time of need (Ben and Jerry’s Phish Food Icecream is my go to comfort food). During chemo, I have tried to keep this diet up, being conscious of what I am putting in my body.

When my doctor told me that there may be a day or two 7 – 10 days post chemo that I could feel like I was hit by a bus (when my wbc etc counts could be low), I refused to give in. Perhaps there was a day or afternoon I was more tired than normal, but for the most part, I felt like I had a ton of energy I didn’t know what to do with! I had gone in a week after my chemo for follow up labs and an appointment to see how I was handling treatment and my provider told me that all of my labs were normal! Praise God! She said maybe I just handn’t had my low day yet, or I was just handling things really well.

When it came time to go in for round 2 of chemo, I was hardly nervous. They accessed my port and drew my blood and sent me in to see my provider. Guess what?! Labs again were normal! ANND…the mass had already shrunk! I know that God did this! I was beyond excited that everything was working. As I sat in the infusion center that day, I felt renewed positivity. God’s got this! I am believing for healing, and ultimately everything is in His hands.

As I continue to move forward, I choose to keep my eyes on Jesus. He is the ultimate physician and healer. I pray that as I continue, He guides the doctor and treatment. I have good days and bad days, but I choose to make each day as positive as I can and give each day to God.