Forged In The Flames

As parents, how do our children see us? They are always watching what we do, what we say, how we act, how we respond, and how we handle difficult situations. Do we alter our words and actions when we know they are watching or think they aren’t around to see us? Kids can be very interesting characters. They don’t hear you when you are asking them to do something one minute, and the next, when they know you are talking about something they aren’t supposed to hear- they suddenly have perfect hearing.

How do we handle ourselves? Do we set good examples for them? Or do we put on a show? What is the point in putting up a front and a show for a child? Is it to show that it is okay to pretend things are okay even if they aren’t okay?And in doing so, we fail to lead by example when hard times come? How do we want our children to learn? By example or by merely being told how to handle something, including having a false front.

In my sons’ eyes, I want them to see me handling this situation I am facing, and any situation for that matter, in a way that will not only honor God, but will teach them how to handle difficult situations. If we hide everything from our children, they will not learn by example. Now, having said that, I feel that there is a huge difference in what you tell an 8 year old and what you tell an 18 year old. You need to reach them on their level of understanding and go from there.

In my sons’ eyes, I want them to understand that while there are going to be good days and bad days in difficult situations, it is how you handle them that matters. During the good and bad days, I will praise God. I will not loose my temper (even though it does happen), I will show them how to pray and be hopeful, through setting the example. How peace can come from God and the joy that brings with it. I want them to see that no matter what life throws at you, we have a God who loves us. It is easy to set a good example when the good days are around, but what about when the bad days come? Cause they do. During a bad day- maybe I shouldn’t even call it a bad day, because each day is a gift. During the TRYING or hard days, how do I handle myself and what do they see? Do they see an angry and spiteful Mom? Or do they see a Mom that praises God no matter what.

In truth, I am thankful for both the trying days and the good days. All days are a gift from God and that is why it is called the present. It is a present, or gift. Yesterday is gone and tomorrow is not guaranteed. So, how will your children see you handling difficult days or situations? How will my sons see me handle them? If you are a parent, you know we are never perfect and it is all trial and error and a chance to learn and grow. We are there to protect our children and to teach them. For me, part of protecting my youngest son is explaining my illness to him in a manner that he can understand. He knows that I am sick and I have to go to the doctor to get medicine through a “super hero” port that I have. For my 18 year old sons, they know that I have cancer. Perhaps in the future, I will explain things further to my youngest, but right now, It is important to be real with him, but I also did not want to cause fear and panic as he may not be able to fully understand what cancer is.

I want my light to shine for them. I want them to see that even during hard days, God is still present. I want them to see the good days and to celebrate with joy. In my sons’ eyes- who am I? If you have children, who are you? If you don’t have children, who are you to those around you? How do you handle rough (or good) situations? What do people see?