Wow, the middle of September! Where has time gone?! I have three chemo treatments left (including tomorrow!). So excited. A bit nervous about the next step perhaps. My hair is starting to grow back a bit- kinda looks like baby fuzz- definitely nowhere near a buzz cut yet (and boy do I have plans for when it is there). I have been continuing to work (yea!!!) . I mean, not a super fan of the heat in a flight suit and with the sweat literally running into my eyes – but, I guess I can’t have everything. At least the temperatures have been below 110 degrees. It is nice to be able to go to work and do something for others and not just sit around and ponder what book I am going to read next. I have been slacking on going to the gym- need to make a point to do that a bit more, this Arizona heat makes ma bit lazy some days when I am off.
This week I have had such a peace. A peace that surpasses all understanding. A peace that only comes from God. I have made more time for quiet time- time spent reading the Bible and praying. God says not to worry about tomorrow- and this week I decided not to worry about what is to come. I tried to take each day as it came and to live in that day and that day alone. I have a big appointment tomorrow- one that I could get wrapped up in the “what ifs” and “what is next”. I am trying to remember what God says- do not worry about tomorrow. Earlier this week it seemed much easier that it is tonight.
I spoke with my Mom tonight and we ended up having an amazing conversation. She reminded me that tomorrow is guaranteed for NO ONE. We talked about continued faith and holding on to God. The most important thing is my relationship with Jesus. We had such an amazing conversation, and it really encouraged me to continue putting my worries before God, taking things one day at a time, and having faith. This conversation was at just the right time- God’s time. All the negative thoughts tried to rear their ugly heads today- but NOPE. I prayed and gave it to God. I am not perfect and needed encouragement to keep going- to keep being positive. God puts people in our lives and sometimes we have the most fitting conversations at just the right time. My Mom brought to light the fact that chemo has been going very well and that even this is a bleep in the road. Ironically, I was having the same thought earlier today. I remember a drive I had months ago (I wrote about it in a previous post), when I gave it all to God and I felt like I was given hope.
My hope is in God, and God alone. No matter what, it is well with my soul. I choose to have faith. I believe for healing. God is a BIG God and can move mountains. I don’t know what God’s plans are for me, but I trust Him. I know I keep writing about faith and hope- but I can’t begin to describe the hope I have in God. No matter the outcome, I know that it is for a reason. Each day is a day that I have to remind myself of this and guard my thoughts against negativity. It is not easy. Sometimes I need a few reminders.
Jesus is always there. Always willing to welcome us with open arms. So, as I sit here typing this, I am at peace. It truly is well with my soul. No matter what you are going through in life, Jesus is there.
Forged In The Flames 