After receiving word from the radiologist that I probably had cancer, I decided not to wait around for the healthcare system to make my plans. So, I took action. I called City of Hope (formally Cancer Treatment Center of America), and I was able to get things rolling with them. I felt a peace about going through them, and their name truly emulated what I was feeling- HOPE! So, after intake appointments, I was scheduled for a biopsy.
I woke up on a Friday, almost two weeks after my mammogram/ultrasound, go to my biopsy appointment. I was nervous, but surrendered the day to God. my Dad called me on my way to the appointment and reminded me of what happened on my drive home from work a few days prior (written in my post Doubt Creek). He also spoke of Philippians 4:13 “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me”. This was divine timing. I was giving the day to God and battling anxious thoughts- and today it was hard. Ironically, he called right after I got done reading about “Doubt Creek” in my journal, reminding myself that God has spoken. Over the past several days I had been reminded in many different ways to have faith and to hold on to HIS promises. God gave me what I needed it when I needed it. It isn’t about me, it is about Him! This morning I got up with the thought that the Joy of the Lord will be my strength (Nehemiah 8:10). He alone has given hope a can give hope. Why am I doubting this on this day? He has a plan for my life- I don’t get to know what it is. He has given me a sound mind for the spirit of fear. It is well with my soul. Why am I worried? Why do I doubt? For I have the greatest healer in the universe on my side. Sitting in the car, I had a strange peace wash over me. I prayed “Lord, let me dwell in your presence. I spoke healing-Jesus help me. It is not my life, but it is yours.
Over the past few days I have had Bible verses and songs come to mind. I have also come across numerous Facebook posts when I find myself struggling with my situation and doubt trying to creep back in. Below are some of the things that I have found:
Isaiah 40:31 “But they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength”
Jeremiah 29:11-14 “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you, “declares the Lord, “and I will bring you back from captivity. I will gather you from all the nations and places where I have banished you,” declares the Lord, “and will bring you back to the place from which I carried you into exile”
Nehemiah 8:10 “…Do not grieve, for the joy of the LORD is your strength”.
2 Corinthians 4:16 “Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day”
Proverbs 3:5-6 ” Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct Thy paths”
Matthew 19:26 “With God all things are possible”
The following quotes randomly popped up on Facebook (I cannot recall who posted them, so if it is you, please let me know so I can give you credit for what you wrote):
“God still shines through our darkest hours!! The rays of hope from Heaven shine upon your life today”
Someone else posted a rainbow and I was reminded of God’s promises.
“Faith is being able to go into a negative situation with a positive expectation”
“When you pray, God listens. When you listen, God talks. When you believe, miracles happen”
“Ships don’t sink because of the water around them; ships sink because of the water that gets in them. Don’t let whats happening around you het inside you and weigh you down.”
“Now is not the time to quit. Now is not the time to give up”
How is it possible to have so many profound scriptures and statements flood my mind and even my Facebook? God. That is why. I remember laying on the table and of course, I was scared, I mean who wouldn’t be when someone is about to inject some crazy needles into your body? I laid their in the most awkward position and I sung worship songs in my head. I had tremendous peace and I remember even laughing and joking with the staff. The staff that did the procedure where so kind and so patient. I remember the doc that did the procedure told me that the mass had not appeared to have grown and one of the lymph nodes actually didn’t look as bad as originally thought.
I walked out of the office full of peace and hope. I serve a big God, one that is after our whole heart. I was beginning to really see how much God loves me and brings peace in the midst of the storm. Are you in the middle of a storm? Who do you turn to?
Forged In The Flames 